Sample #99
If your personal philosophy is a little bit Taoist and a little bit Marxist, there's a new place in LA to scratch that particular philosophical itch. Tao Mao is the only East-meets-West neo-communist tiki bar in LA, a three-story Chinatown bordello of poi dogs and palm trees. To get there, you enter from a rear alley and walk past the washboard abs of dancers in the Bumpin' Uglies Go-Go Bar to the karaoke bar called Red 7, and from there climb a red-lit staircase to the restaurant.
Tao Mao, "the great origin," is the Chinese name for the Milky Way galaxy, as seen from the Earth. But it's also the name of a star in that galaxy. And in Mandarin, Tao Mao is pronounced "Dow Mao," which sounds like "D.M.A.," or "doctor of philosophy." And that is exactly what Tao Mao is—a tiki bar where all the drinks have the names of philosophers.
You may be wondering: Is Tao Mao a tiki bar for philosophers? Or a bar for philosophers that serves tiki drinks? Or is it both? Does it matter?
Actually, no, it doesn't. Tao Mao is a philosophical tiki bar, that's all you need to know. The more you think about it, the less sense it makes.
Before I try to explain Tao Mao, I should mention that the bartender told me the bar's name is pronounced "Dow Mao." And he is a white dude. And yet... all the cocktail names are in Mandarin. And he only speaks English. So what the fuck do I know? Maybe I'm the crazy one.
I can tell you that the people who seem most at home at Tao Mao are little clusters of friends—mainly white dudes who look like they'd be hanging out at some over-designed tiki bar that was actually inspired by Tao Mao. For example, I met two TV writers who were there for the first time. The owner was there with his mom. The first time I visited, the woman in the next booth to me was there with her sister, and"
Tao Mao, "the great origin," is the Chinese name for the Milky Way galaxy, as seen from the Earth. But it's also the name of a star in that galaxy. And in Mandarin, Tao Mao is pronounced "Dow Mao," which sounds like "D.M.A.," or "doctor of philosophy." And that is exactly what Tao Mao is—a tiki bar where all the drinks have the names of philosophers.
You may be wondering: Is Tao Mao a tiki bar for philosophers? Or a bar for philosophers that serves tiki drinks? Or is it both? Does it matter?
Actually, no, it doesn't. Tao Mao is a philosophical tiki bar, that's all you need to know. The more you think about it, the less sense it makes.
Before I try to explain Tao Mao, I should mention that the bartender told me the bar's name is pronounced "Dow Mao." And he is a white dude. And yet... all the cocktail names are in Mandarin. And he only speaks English. So what the fuck do I know? Maybe I'm the crazy one.
I can tell you that the people who seem most at home at Tao Mao are little clusters of friends—mainly white dudes who look like they'd be hanging out at some over-designed tiki bar that was actually inspired by Tao Mao. For example, I met two TV writers who were there for the first time. The owner was there with his mom. The first time I visited, the woman in the next booth to me was there with her sister, and"