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Sample #1749

"Murphy looked down at the ring.

He had considered talking to God for some time now, even contemplated it, if only to tell him what he thought about his life, but he never felt that God would actually talk back, and he certainly wasn’t sure that he wanted to hear what God had to say. Besides, who was he? He was just a jerk that had been born into the wrong era. Why would God want to listen to him?

But in the middle of a quiet moment, where he wasn’t doing anything except sitting in the living room with the family, his eyes drifted to the ring, and suddenly the words came out.

“God, I don’t know if you’re there, or if you’ll listen to me, but I’ve got a bone to pick with you.” Murphy said.

The family members looked at each other, completely surprised that their father would start talking to himself.

Murphy waited a few moments for a response, but there was none.

“You took my family from me and left me to raise them alone. You made it so that my daughter could see into the future, and that my son had the ability to control electricity. You left me a broken man. You might as well have just killed me.”

There was no answer.

“And then you put me here. You told me that this is where you wanted me to be, but I’m not so sure. You took me away from the thing that made me happy, and I’ve been miserable ever since.”

Murphy sat in silence for a moment, waiting for a response. He heard the wind blow, and he knew that it was nothing more than the wind, but for a second, he thought he heard a voice.

“Do you hear me?” Murphy asked. “Are you going to talk to me?”

Murphy closed his eyes and heard a voice. It wasn’t the voice of God. It was more of a hum, like a song that you don’t know the name of. It was just there, humming away. Murphy couldn’t make out the words, but it sounded a little like singing.

“What is that?” Murphy asked. “Is that you? Are you going to speak to me?”

He didn’t hear anything more than the hum.

“Okay, fine. I’m just going to keep talking then. You were right. I have been miserable. I’ve never been able to find someone that I was happy with. I’ve never been able to get a job that I liked. You made my life difficult, and you’ve made my family miserable. You’ve done nothing but cause pain to everyone around me. And for what? You were the one that decided to make me a special child, to make me into something that I’m not, and I can’t even begin to fathom why.”

There was no response.

“I wish I could blame you for everything that’s happened, but I’m not going to lie to myself. I’m just as much to blame as you are. I’m the one that killed my wife. I was so caught up in trying to make her feel like she wasn’t alone that I didn’t see the pain that I was causing. You see, I had promised her that we would have a family, that I would love her and care for her for the rest of her life. But I let that slip away, because I was too selfish to see how much I was hurting her. It’s my fault that she died, and it’s my fault that the boys grew up without a mother. I didn’t even think about it. I never thought that I would lose her, and I thought that she would be there forever. I should have fought harder for her, but I didn’t, and now she’s gone.”

Murphy’s eyes began to fill with tears.

“That’s the hardest thing I’ve ever had to admit. I’m a horrible father, and I’m a horrible husband. I’ve never been able to hold on to anything that I love. I’ve always been weak, and I’ve always allowed the people that I love to walk away. It’s my fault that they’ve gone, but it’s not all my fault. You’ve had your hand in this, too. You’ve made sure that I always have a reason to hate myself.”

He closed his eyes, and he started to feel dizzy. He had been sitting in the same position for so long, but he couldn’t bring himself to move.

“What do you want me to do?” Murphy asked. “What do you want me to do now? I have no idea what to do, and I don’t know what my life is supposed to be. I never got to have the childhood that I should have had, and I’ve never been able to live up to the things that people expected of me. I’ve never been able to live up to the standards that everyone else has.”

Murphy stopped talking and listened to the humming. It was there, again, just humming away. It sounded so peaceful. It was a song that he couldn’t quite place, but he could almost remember it. It was just out of his reach, though. It sounded familiar, but he just couldn’t place it.

“I’m not asking for your forgiveness,” Murphy said. “I know that I’m not worthy of it. I know that I’m a horrible human being, and I know that I don’t deserve anything. I just don’t know what to do. I know that I’m a burden, and that I’ve never lived up to the expectations of anyone around me. I’m just asking you to show me what to do. I don’t know how to live this life. I don’t know how to do anything. I need to know what to do next. I need some kind of sign that tells me what to do. Please.”

Murphy waited for a response. He waited for a few minutes, but nothing came.

“Please,” Murphy said. “Please give me a sign.”

He looked down at the ring. It was glowing a little bit. The humming had stopped. Murphy held his hand up and stared at the ring.

“Do you know what you want?” Murphy asked. “Do you know what you want me to do?”

Murphy held his hand up and looked at the ring.

“Do you want me to take the ring off? Is that what you want me to do?”

Murphy looked at the ring and waited. There was no answer.

“Or do you want me to do something else?” Murphy asked.

Murphy closed his eyes and listened to the sound of the birds outside of his house. He waited for a response, but there was none. He waited for a few minutes, but he still didn’t hear anything.

Murphy took a deep breath and opened his eyes. He looked down at the ring and slowly slid it off of his finger. He closed his eyes and waited. He didn’t hear anything, but he felt his chest tighten a little bit. He opened his eyes and looked down at the ring. He opened his mouth to say something, but he didn’t know what to say. He closed his eyes and held the ring in his hand.

He didn’t know what to do.

“I’m so sorry.” Murphy said. “I’m so sorry for everything that I’ve done. I’m so sorry that I didn’t fight harder for you. I’m so sorry that I couldn’t keep you here with me.”

Murphy held the ring for a few more seconds and then threw it on the table. He leaned back on the couch and closed his eyes.

He waited.

After a few minutes, he got up and left the room. He walked up to the bedroom, closed the door, and took a nap.